Colonello's Heart
by magnipisika16
Summary: . . . is a heart that wants, doubts, hurts, grieves, needs, betrays, and loves . . . Perhaps now was never the right chance for it to exist, and yet, how come? How come everything felt so sickeningly-sweet and vile?
1. A Heart that Wants

**Howkay. Get ready people. This is gotta be a bit long and unusual. May I ask for drumrolls?**

***looks at Skull who's sleeping next to the drums***

**Well, guess not. So, I'm just going to say it:**

**PREPARE TO BE COLOLALIZED! This fine print below is a promised request for a special person (*ehem*COLONELA*ehem*) that somehow regenerated, and was transformed into a chappy!**

**So, while I still have the floor, allow me to yet again establish a few things. This little fic is AU, so do not be surprised if the characters are a **_**bit **_**OOC, since their settings have changed. Although, I must request, if you do happen to find parts where I've gone too far, do tell me.**

**That aside, please, do enjoy!**

**-m16-**

"The problem here, obviously, is that you are one big ass, and you take up too much space here!"

"What's that?"

"Let me translate that for you, then . . . Get the fuck out of here, Bastard!"

That voice.

Quickly, I pushed myself up from my bed and ran towards the windowpane. All other windows were already out of lights, save for one. Her window.

What was going on?

"Honestly, I don't even get why you have to come here! And, in the middle of the evening, too! You're causing up a stir and waking up my tenants!"

"Is that how you talk to your father, you ungrateful little . . ."

"Ungrateful little what? Go on and say it, Old Man! Let the whole neighborhood hear!"

"Don't make me say it. We can talk about this peacefully."

"_You're _the one here who started this! Get out, and I can reassure you that everything will be peaceful!"

The window adjacent from mine opened, and out came a blue-haired woman. She stepped into the thin ledge, and looked down.

"Lal Mirch, young lady, get down from there! That's dangerous!" a man's voice called out from inside the window. Soon, his head protruded from that opening.

"Oh, shut up," she replied, rolling her eyes. "I know you don't care about me."

"I very much do!" the man argued. "Now, get out of there!"

Lal _did _start getting out of there, but she only went farther away, stepping into more treacherous grounds. The old man began wigging out and started to step out of the window as well, but she threatened that she'll jump off that five-storey building if he went any nearer.

"Damn, that's dangerous, kora," I muttered, running towards my drawers to find the key ring. My hands shook as I tried fitting every key in that ring, hoping to find the right one. From the corner of my eye, I saw her bob her head towards me.

The window finally opened, and I gestured for her to come near. She looked at me uncertainly, and then back at her original opponent. The man was already calling at someone. I saw her face grow pale.

"Over here, kora!" I cried. She looked at me again, bit her lip, and started stepping towards me. I leaned forward and reached for her hand, and she took it, striding towards my window ledge, landing inside my room.

"Are you alright?" I asked, closing the window.

"Yeah," she breathed. "I didn't die, did I?"

I looked at the man from where we stood, and saw him glaring at me. Quickly, I looked away.

"You shouldn't be afraid of him. He won't be able to hurt you if you just stay away." She faced me, and smiled. "Thanks for that."

"Sure," I whispered. "I don't mean to pry or anything, but, what was that about, kora?"

"Nothing much," she sighed, pressing her fingers on the glass of my window, watching as how the old man muttered some sort of curse at her, and she returned by raising her middle finger at him before he slammed the window in frustration.

"Really?" I asked, slowly looking back at her to catch a playful beam on her face, before it turned into a scowl. "That didn't look like nothing much, kora."

"Did it now?" She bit her lip and appeared to be assessing something. Then, she faced me again. "If you must know, that guy's Lucio, Hell's very own God of the Devils."

"Why do you call your father by his first name, kora?"

She scoffed.

"Lucio's not my dad," she answered, leaning on the wall and crossing her arms. "He's my stepdad."

"Oh."

"By the way," she said, holding out her hand at me. "I'm Lal Mirch."

"Colonello," I smiled, reaching for it. Suddenly, she winced.

"What's wrong, kora?" She smiled and shook her head as she examined her palm. I took it back, and found that it was bleeding.

"Shoot," I exclaimed softly.

"Relax," she claimed, pulling her hand away. "It's just a scratch I got while I was out on that ledge."

_Real now?_ I thought. That surely didn't look like just a scratch to me.

"Wait here, kora," I instructed her as I hurriedly ran to get my First Aid kit and go back to her, only to see her crying softly in front of the window.

"Lal, kora?"

Her big brown eyes shimmered with tears underneath the soft moonlight. They stared unto me for a short while, and then swiftly turned away. I had to look away in embarrassment.

"Sorry, kora," I mumbled.

"I should be the one apologizing," she answered, raising her head and wiping away the tears.

I looked back at her, and she was still looking out at her window. She was muttering curses or something as she watched the fading light from where she stood.

"Damn that devil. He's not leaving."

"You can stay here for the night, if you like, kora." My hand immediately flew to my mouth, but it was too late. She was already looking at me with wide, uncertain eyes.

"T-that's not what I meant—uh—er, uhm . . ."

"I get it," she smiled. "Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. I can face him anytime. He always comes here every month . . . Slimy Bastard."

I watched as she began fidgeting with her dark blue locks, eyes casted down in a wary manner. She looked like a troubled angel from my point of view, and I have never seen anyone who looked lovelier than she. It was overwhelming, yet at the same time, heartbreaking.

"Something's wrong, kora," I pointed out softly and comfortingly.

"Of course there is," she choked, raising up her other hand to wipe away the tears. "That man's there."

"No, I mean . . ." My voice trailed off when she looked at me, as if watching how my blue eyes blink awkwardly at her. I didn't bother continuing. Her gaze was too hard to depict. It was as if she was looking through me beneath those glimmering tears.

Instead, I took her hand—the bleeding one—and examined it. Anything to keep my eyes from looking at her. Still, she stared at me curiously.

"I think you should sit down so we could do something about this hand of yours, kora," I suggested, gesturing at my small bed. The inquisitive glint in her eyes seemed to have rouse, making me swallow my next words.

"Sure," she finally said, lowering herself at the soft, white duvet covers. I felt her eyes look away for a moment, giving me enough tension to at least let me move and click open the light.

As soon as the whole room lit up, exposing my rather "upsetting" dwelling place, I took a place next to her, and started treating her hand.

"Nice place you got here," she commented, eyes journeying around my small, blue room. "Simple and understated. Quite unique for a man's home."

"Uh, I just moved in, which explains the boxes over there, kora," I explained, wrapping her hand tenderly, still refusing to have eye contact.

"So you're the new guy, huh?" she asked.

"Y-yeah . . ."

She gave out a small chuckle as she pulled away her bandaged hand.

"No wonder you look so familiar."

I just gave out an uncertain laugh.

Of course I was familiar.

I've been spying on her since I first came here. Now, don't get the wrong idea and say that I'm some sort of stalker. I'm not . . .but I've found her quite interesting. I've always had the chance to brush against her in the hallway, and, I guess, in that short period of time, I've grown this slight fondness for her.

She's cute. Can you blame me?

Oh, that _and _because she's the landlady here.

Beautiful coincidence, no?

"Colonello, right?" she suddenly said. I looked at her as she smiled at me. "Thanks for being such a great guy. I feel like we're going to get along _really _well." She sighed. "Sorry, if I've disturbed your sleep or anything."

"That's fine," I quickly told her. "I'm happy to have helped. Besides, I don't think I can sleep knowing that there are these kinds of bad elements lurking around my home, kora."

"That makes two of us," she muttered.

"Are you okay, kora?"

"Uh, what?" She blinked at me, and then slightly blushed. "Oh, sorry. I was . . ." She looked up, and then smiled, as if defeated. "I guess I can't hide anything from you, can I?"

I blinked. She giggled.

"Cute," she murmured, eyes softening. "Well, if you must know, I've been bothered by what that guy told me when he came tonight."

"Why? What did he say, kora?"

"He told me updates about my mother like how he did everytime he comes here. Usually, I didn't care about it. It was the same thing over and over again, and it's not like I'd give a damn about him and her ever since I kicked myself out of that blasted home. Not until he told me the news."

"Did your mother fall sick or something, kora?"

"Heh, I'd wish," she sneered. Then, her eyes turned supple and dampened. "But, that wasn't it. She'd been sick for a long time now. Lucio always says that she became like that because I left. Yeah, like that was ever true."

"It might be, kora," I told her hopefully.

"But, it isn't," she argued. "No mother will let her daughter move out just because she came into a conflict with her most beloved new husband. She doesn't care about me. She just pretended for my dad, to show him that we really do get along well."

"Why would she want to pretend for your father, kora?"

She shrugged.

"What can I say? My father's kind of filthy, stinking rich, and as an added bonus, he was close to dying. She wanted part of the bounty. Everybody did."

"And . . .?"

Her face turned grim.

"And, when he did . . . die, we've found out that he left all his treasures and wealth to his only daughter."

"That's you, right, kora?"

She smiled at me.

"Look who catches on fast," she teased. "So, yeah, my dad left everything in my name, with a note that says I was open to share it with those who _care _about me. Something my mother and her other husband will never be."

"So that man's really after your money, kora?"

"Exactly. They wanted to show my dad's lawyer that they cared about me to convince him, but, thankfully, he wasn't convinced. So, my life has been a series of wild goose chases between me and my mother for the past two years. Still, they didn't get anything from me."

"Connect the dots for me, will you, kora?" I told her. "If you're really as wealthy as you say you are, then why are you here? Not that I'm saying you don't belong here, but, shouldn't you be where other rich girls go?"

"Like where?"

"I don't know! Las Vegas, maybe?"

To my surprise, she laughed. Hard. So far from her usual soft giggles.

"Good one," she chortled. "But, I don't think I'd be comfortable in anywhere as lavish as that. Besides, it's not like I want my dad's money."

"You d-don't, kora?"

"I know, kind of weird, huh? Me refusing a multibillionaire's inheritance. Well, that's just the kind of person I am. I don't like being wealthy. It just attracts too many weirdoes and pretenders. So, I left the lawyer to divide it among charities, and what not. But, he couldn't because . . ."

"Because of the condition, kora," I found myself mutter.

"Right," she agreed. "Even though he's on my side, the lawyer believes that these idiots will actually be able to prove that they fucking care about me. I always believed they wouldn't succeed . . ." A sparkle of loneliness passed by her russet orbs. "Then, my mom died."

My eyes widened at her, and she scowled at me.

"Don't look at me like that," she demanded. "I'm not sad because she died. As a matter of fact, I am very much _happy _she's out of my life. That only leaves Lucio after me, and what good would he do? He's not even related to me."

"I can see you crying, kora."

She looked away in an irritated manner.

"I'm just upset, alright?" she insisted. "Lucio might be able to use her death to convince everybody that she loved me so much that she died worrying about me."

"Was your lawyer convinced, kora?"

She shrugged.

"He wasn't," she answered. "But, we both have the same hunch. What if that devil takes this to court, and those idiots believe him? A lot of good that will do to me and my efforts to keep my dad's hard-earned riches to fall into his clutches."

"I see, kora."

She forced a smile as she stretched her arms forward.

"Well, that's the story of my life." She looked up at me. "It felt good to share this with someone. Thanks again, Colonello."

"You're welcome, kora," I grinned. Then, that curious look on her face returned. She started watching me again, reviving that awkward feeling from a while ago.

"Something wrong, kora?" I asked.

She neared her face towards mine, making me recoil.

"Uh . . . you might want to back a little, kora . . ."

"Your eyes," she suddenly blurted out. I focused my stare at her. "Are they really blue?"

"Y-yeah . . . Why, kora?"

"Nothing," she whispered, looking away. "It just reminds me of my dad."

"Oh. Well . . . I'm glad I could remind you of a good memory for a change, kora."

She smiled again.

"Well, it's not everyday that you see a blond and blue-eyed Italian in this part of Namimori. Especially, the tender and loving kind. You are so much like my father."

I looked at her, and she looked back at me. Slowly, the awkwardness began to disappear as I found myself grinning easily at her.

"Isn't this quite an interesting way to get to know your proprietor, kora?" I commented.

"Yeah, you're right." She looked at her watch and stood up. "Maybe, I should go. We both need to get some sleep."

"What about that Lucio person, kora?"

"I'll just kick him out," she answered confidently. "And, when he doesn't leave, don't be surprised to hear police sirens, all right?"

"I'll keep that in mind, then, kora."

She walked back to the window, and pushed it up, letting the cold evening breeze ruffle her beautiful cobalt tresses. I walked after her.

"Are you sure you don't want to use the door, kora?" I asked as she carefully stepped out.

"Nah," she replied. "Then, I'd have to go a long way and risk having others see me get out of your room. People might get the wrong idea and a lot of good _that _will be for you." She balanced herself on the ledge, and then faced me.

"Come here," she called out. I stepped towards her.

"Yeah, kora?"

"Thanks again, Colonello, for everything. It means a lot for me to meet you. I hope we could be great friends."

"Sure thing, kora."

She leaned forward and gave me a peck on the cheek, and then carefully treaded the dangerous path back to her window, leaving me there standing like a lost puppy, blushing like crazy.

**-FIN-**

**To COLONELA: Hey, onee-chan! This is the fic you've requested FYI! Thanks for your undying support!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**LoveLots!**


	2. A Heart that Doubts

***pants* You guys won't believe this . . . I'm already halfway through the LAST chapter of this little chappy! Yey!**

**But, no. I will not post it all at once. But, since you guys were nice enough, I will post two more this time.**

**Okay, giddiyap, chapter two!**

**-m16-**

"Good morning, kora," I greeted as she looked up from watering her plants to look for the source of the voice.

"Oh, hey there," she greeted back. "Good morning to you, too."

I gave away a grin. How easy that was, but to stop myself from saying my next statements was difficult.

"You look good today, kora," I told her.

"Good one," she said, rolling her eyes.

"No, I mean it, kora!"

And, harder was it still to hinder myself from continuing.

"By the way, Lal, are you doing something tonight, kora?"

"Me? Why?"

"Would you like to go out on a date with me? I really wanted to see more of this city, kora!"

Soon, I found my will power deteriorating as she smiled.

"I'll pick you up at six. How does that sound, kora?"

"That sounds great, Colonello, but, I'm a bit busy tonight. I'm meeting with my dad's lawyer and his son. Next time, okay?"

"Of course, kora!" I grinned. She smiled, and then withdrew back in her room, closing the window in front of me. Immediately, that grin disappeared.

That was close. Good thing she said no, otherwise . . .

Curse this. Why can't I seem to stop myself at all? For what were those sleepless nights of slapping myself to wake me up from this foolishness?

I _can't _let her fall for me. How many times did I have to repeat that?

Frustrated, I slammed my window closed, and jumped back into bed. I reached for my phone, and started scrolling down the contacts.

I needed to talk to someone about this.

"Let's see . . ." I muttered, scanning through the names.

What if I call for Mammon? He's good with these, but then he'd ask me to pay, so no.

Luce? Also a surefire bet, but, if I'm not mistaken, she's pregnant for her first child and me calling might stress her . . . or her husband.

Fon? Nah, he's in China right now. Too distant.

Verde? I can already imagine him telling me to fuck off.

Skull? Yeah, right.

I scowled at the multitudinous names passing before my eyes, aggravated that not even one can help me. Then, I came across the name of an old friend of mine who moved here two years ago. The guy's more mature than I am, but . . .

Oh, what the heck.

I fidgeted with the stray hair falling on my face as I listened to the ringing from the other line. Soon, I heard a _'click' _followed by a heavy voice.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Good to hear from you, too, Reborn, kora," I retorted, rolling my eyes.

"Wait . . . Colonello?"

"No, it's me Santa! What do you want for Christmas, young man?"

"Ah, fuck off," he chuckled softly. "Wait, hold on." A few rustlings and a loud car horn was heard before I heard him again.

"Let me guess," I started. "You're in a car, kora."

"And . . .?"

"You're with your dad."

"And . . .?"

"You were the one driving."

"Very good," the disembodied voice commented. "Still the lame fortune-teller, aren't you, buddy? So, how's the new house? You're landlord nice enough to endure you?"

"Funny thing you've mentioned her, kora . . ."

"'Her'," he repeated with a knowing hum. "A landlady, I see. Let me guess, you're in love with her, am I right?"

"Well, on the verge, but . . ."

"That 'Doubting' Syndrome of yours acting up again?"

"Wait . . . my what, kora?"

"You know what I mean, Col," he said. "That's how you always are whenever you get close to a girl who seems to have this strange power to attract your attention. You're afraid of hurting them and more nonsense similar to that."

"It's not nonsense, kora!" I argued. "In point of fact, I'm being considerate. You remember the last time it happened, right?"

"Colonello, it has been years since that happened. Will you please, for the love of every fucking car getting in my way—FLY, YOU MORON! Hello? Hello? You still there, Col? Yeah, sorry about that. Some fucktard just came swooping in front of me. Lonely bastard. Where was I? Oh, yes. Try and move on. She could be the one, whoever she is."

"I can't doubt that," I told him. "She's an amazing woman, but, that's not the point. The point is she's been through a lot—and by 'a lot', I mean a _lot_—and I don't want to be the cause of more of her misery."

"You talk as if you're the biggest heartbreaker in town, you know that? Just listen to yourself."

"Well, there's a big possibility, and I'm not going to gamble with fate again like how I did the last time, kora."

"I dare you . . ."

"Please, no, Reborn. You know I—"

"You heard what I said right? I said I dare you. Are you refusing?"

"Reborn, this is no time for games, and—"

"Could this be true?" he said in a mocking tone. "The almighty Super-Soldier Colonello of the Arcobalenos is backing out of a dare? Oh my . . . History is being made."

"Seriously, you intend on bringing that up again, kora? That silly group broke up when we graduated, so please, let's be serious, and—"

"Coward."

"Fine!" I cried. "What are you daring me to do, kora?"

"Simple," he replied, and I swore I heard him smirk. "Tell her directly how you feel."

"What?"

"You heard me. Isn't that what you're good at? Direct confessions?"

"Well, yeah, but . . ."

"Seriously, Colonello, you still doubt? What I'm asking you to do is very simple: tell her how you feel about her."

"What will I do after that, kora?"

"It depends on what she'll say. You'll know what to do afterwards."

"But, Reborn, I—"

"Uh-oh, I don't hear you anymore," he said beneath heaps of crackling noises. "I think we're breaking up. We're going through a tunnel. Okay, good luck. Bye."

And, all I heard was my phone's ring tone.

"That fucker," I muttered, throwing the phone aside and staring up at the ceiling.

I didn't really acknowledge this at first, because it could've been just shock from having been kissed by someone as amazing as she was, but then, everytime I get the chance to talk to her, or even see her from across my window; I felt this resurging feeling of strange want. Maybe, I have fallen for her without knowing it. Or maybe, I do know it, but just didn't want to believe it. Face it; it's too unbelievable even if _I _say that I have unconsciously fallen for my new landlord.

Well, it's not like there's nothing to like about her. That's just plain wrong. She's _perfect_. Far too perfect for a foolish guy like me.

I guess I'm just afraid. Lal seems like the kind of girl who's going through a lot of things, and the last thing she needs was someone who'd hurt her and push her even farther into the pits of pain and misery. That someone can be me. I've hurt far too many people in my past experiences, and it's not far for me to do the same for her.

I'm broken when it comes to loving. Trust me. Even I would agree with that.

But I . . .

I can't seem to instill that into her. She keeps on letting herself go deeper into my heart, as if trying to find a place there that she may call her own. Doesn't she know that one wrong step and she might succeed? And, what if she does? What will I do then? Will I be able to do it right this time? Will she find the proper love in me—the love that she deserves?

And, what if I can't?

What will happen to her then?

No. It's too treacherous for the both of us.

It's best that I stay away.

**-FIN-**

**That's it for chapter two! Yeah, I know I'm being a bit . . . how shall I put this? Slow in pacing, but, you'll be surprised at the next chapters, I promise! **

**Keep on reading and pressing on that "Review Button"! It makes me a happy little Maggie!**

**Hat-cha!**

**LoveLots~**


	3. A Heart that Hurts

**A little reminder before you go on . . .**

**This fic is once again AU, and the only characters that are not mine are the Arcobalenos. The others? So mine.**

**Okay, that aside, do enjoy chapter three!**

**-m16-**

Love is a dangerous drug created for what seems like the enjoyment of those who can endure its effects. I myself have experienced those effects in my past life so I can freely say that it's not the type of remedy that a weary heart may want to take. Even so, love isn't always about bad outcomes and brokenness. It is also about joy, ecstasy, and, strangely, satisfaction.

Otherwise, why else would I take it upon myself as a treatment?

From somewhere beyond those blue skies, in a small place called Naples, my old hometown, love has once conjured a weary heart; gave it an illusion of eternal happiness which can never be attained through other means.

She was beautiful.

Young, innocent, and beautiful.

It was a surprise, actually, for an atheist like me to be visited by an angel like her. Meeting her was already as impossible as it may get, what more was being able to befriend her? Up until now, I never believed it, but it happened, and heaven only knows how much I wished it never did.

She fell in love with me.

"Here! Please accept this for me to you, Colonello!" A small, daintily-prepared box seemed to have zoomed from nowhere towards my chest. I looked down, and saw a shivering blonde's head bowing ever so lowly in front of me.

"Can I help you, kora?" I asked warily while the others behind me let out small snickers.

"Idiot," one of them teased. "She's giving you that present!"

"Man, how dense can you get?"

I turned my head to shush them, and then stared back at her, who was now looking at me with wide blue eyes.

"Um," I mumbled, blinking at her. "Is that for me, kora?"

Her eyes followed the direction of my gaze, and both our pair of sapphire orbs landed on the small package. She blushed furiously as she shoved it to my hands.

"Y-yes, of course! S-sorry!"

I stared at the package for a brief moment and then back at her again, to watch as her wobbly hand fidgeted with her light, yellow hair.

"Thank you very much, kora," I smiled. She looked up at me, and gave a shy smile. The howling behind us grew louder. I gave them a reprimanding glare, before gesturing to an empty space on one of the corners of our school. She accepted my invitation, and soon, we were standing next to each other under the shade of an old oak tree.

"Ah, finally!" I slumped myself on the soft grass as she watched me with uncertainty. I flashed her one of my well-known grins, and she blushed.

"We haven't properly introduced, kora," I told her. "You know me; who are you?"

"I-I'm Sheila!" she cried, blushing even more, and then she bowed. "I'm sorry . . . I probably look like an ass right now when I'm trying so very hard not to . . ."

"Sheila," I repeated. "That's a pretty name, kora!"

Gradually, she raised her head at me, and gave me a small beam before straightening herself up.

"Thank you," she squeaked.

"You know you don't have to be shy around me. I don't normally bite. As a matter of fact, I should be the one thanking you for this." I raised the small box to show her. "I love homemade chocolates the most, kora. So, I take it you were the one stuffing the same chocolates in my locker for the past few days?"

She nodded feebly, a tinge of embarrassment evident in her azure eyes.

"Hey now," I cooed. "That's nothing to be humiliated about. I find it quite sweet that you took the liberty to do these for me, kora. What if I do something nice for you for a change, kora?"

"T-that won't be necessary, Colonello, er . . ."

I touched my lips with my finger as I watched her cheeks grow back to their original color, and then gestured for her to come near. She did so, and knelt in front of me. I gave her blond head a good-natured pat, and slowly neared my face towards her.

Don't believe my no-good friends from awhile ago. I'm not dense. Sheila's feelings never went unnoticed by me as soon as the first box of chocolates was found lying inside my messy locker.

I knew what they meant, and yes, I _knew _that she likes me. Perhaps, like-_like _me, as how the other girls would say it. To put it simply, she wants me, and why am I not surprised? She's not the first. Nope. She's just one of the many, many hearts that are after me.

What can I say? There's something about me, not that I'm bragging though.

Don't think of this in a wrong way, but I also like everyone of them. Nothing beats the feeling of being wanted. Of being loved. I guess if my mind back then was as mature as mine now, then I would've realized myself that what I was doing was wrong and I would've stopped before things start falling apart.

Too bad. I was hopelessly immature.

Slowly, I let go of her lips as she looked up at me with the same wide blue eyes. For a moment there, I found myself hypnotized by those two serene orbs.

Never have I seen eyes as lovely as hers. Not even from my other ladyloves. Usually, theirs are a bit of aggressive and jolly, but hers were filled with innocence and lament. I felt this strange desire to look into her eyes forever.

It was not anymore a feeling of want.

It became a feeling of need.

"Colonello . . .?" she whispered, eyes slowly examining my astonished face. I couldn't believe it. What was with this girl?

I didn't answer her anymore. Rather, I pulled her again towards me and pressed my lips against her for the second time.

**-m16-**

"Good morning, kora," I greeted the familiar blond head. She turned around, and gave an innocent smile. The same innocent smile I have grown so very fond of.

"Hello there, Colonello."

The other girls behind her were looking at us, astonished. One even gathered up the courage to extend her hand and tap on Sheila's shoulder, ruining our moment. When she turned around again, the girl started saying something with a cagey expression that was occasionally directed to me.

A girl who is a bit familiar with me, I see.

I watched as she began shaking Sheila lightly and as the latter gently shrugged off her hold and gave a reassuring smile.

"I don't think he's anything like that," she beamed.

_That's where you go wrong, Sheila_, I thought.

"Hey, Sheila," I called. She looked up at me, and again I was bombarded by overwhelming feelings of need. I had to look away to keep my focus. "I think I should go. I remember I needed to fix a little something back in our room."

I headed the other way, but immediately turned around to smile at her and her friends.

"I'll see you later, okay, kora?"

She smiled.

"Okay."

Hurriedly, my legs began striding towards my room.

I wasn't lying to Sheila.

I really _did _leave to go and fix something.

With a deep breath, I entered our classroom, and found that there were only three people inside aside from me. My eyes intently scoured the whole space to find her, but she wasn't here.

_Maybe she's not here yet,_ I thought, as I laid my bag carefully on my table, only to let a small piece of card fall out of it. I crouched down to pick it up.

"_Meet me at the usual place as soon as you get this.—L_

_P.S.: I've got a surprise for you._

Perhaps I spoke too soon.

I walked briskly to the designated place—under the shade of the old oak tree. Surely enough, she was there, sitting on the lone picnic bench, fidgeting with a flower.

I took a deep breath before I walked towards her.

"Hey, Lyn, kora," I greeted.

"Colonello!" she rejoiced, throwing her arms up in the air as if to welcome me. As soon as I reached her, she wrapped those tow arms around me. "Did you miss me, baby?"

"Hardly," I muttered, wrapping my arms around her before gently pushing her away. She looked up questioningly at me, her scarlet orbs boring into my rather vague appearance.

"What's wrong?" she asked innocently with a pout.

"Nothing," I answered, prying off her arms off of my neck. "I just needed to talk to you, that's all."

"Before that," she interrupted, producing from behind her a small, daintily-covered box, handing it to me. "Happy One Month Anniversary!"

I stared at the box. How vaguely familiar it was.

"You like it?" she asked. "I knew how much you love homemade chocolates, so, to make my present a little special for today, I asked a friend of mine to help me make this. Come on and try them, Colonello."

I didn't have to. Somehow, all this is starting to give me a bad feeling.

Like I know _exactly _what these chocolates would taste like.

"Well?" she almost pleaded as she looked up at me.

"T-thanks, kora." I forced a smile as I looked uncertainly at the box. "Uh, who did you say helped make these again?"

"A friend of mine," she said with a blink. "Her name's Sheila Ellyn. She's a year younger than us."

"Oh no," I muttered. From the corner of my eyes, I saw her smile a beautiful smile that caused me to loose my focus. Everything inside my head began spinning out of control.

This smile. These sweets. Those pair of lamenting orbs.

All of them are whirring inside my head, mixing themselves to one another, causing severe confusion to envelop me.

Then, I felt her lips against mine.

Well, that's that.

I've lost myself completely.

Perhaps, I could let myself go off the hook this time. It's not like anyone was to see us here anyway. After this . . . After this, I promise myself I'd fix this.

But, right now, just let me off the hook.

"Colonello?"

Our lips broke apart at the sound of that proverbial, pleading voice. I didn't bother turning my head to look at the speaker. I knew for a fact who she was.

"Sheila?" Lyn asked. I could feel said girl's blue eyes burying themselves to my trembling body.

"Hey, Lyn," she greeted back, almost inaudibly.

"Hey is something wrong, girl?" Lyn inquired with worry, letting go of my arms to approach her friend. "You look like you've been hurt pretty badly. Were those mean girls teasing you again?"

"No," I heard her choke. I couldn't help myself and turned around to see her dodgy eyes as she tried her best not to cry. "It's not the mean girls this time."

"Then who? Come on, you can tell me."

Hurtfully, Sheila lifted her blameless and melancholic eyes towards me, and I couldn't do anything but look back at her. Lyn followed her gaze, and then gave a sheepish giggle.

"Oh, where are my manners?" she exclaimed, and then grabbed me by the arm. "Sheila, this is Colonello." She looked up at me and grinned. "My boyfriend."

Sheila's eyes noticeably changed into a pair of hurt and unbelieving ones as tears began to fall from them. I had to endure them, for I found that I couldn't move at all.

"Colonello," Lyn continued, apathetic from our individual expressions. "This is Sheila. She's the friend who helped me make those chocolates for you."

I watched as how her lower lip trembled before she looked up at me with such a sweet and warm smile.

So, this is how she punishes those who hurt her. With a sincere smile that can send bites of unbearable pain towards your heart. From where I stood, even I would have to wonder who could ever destroy such a pure grin like that.

I'm a monster.

"Pleased to meet the real you," she muttered pleasantly, with no hint of bitterness or anything. Just the plain, old greeting she'd give anyone, causing my heart to go even farther down the pits of despair.

Again, her lower lip began to shake, and I saw more tears come out as she ran away.

Away from me.

"Sheila!" Lyn cried, holding out her hand to reach for her, but she had already gone too far to chase after. She sighed.

"My goodness, what has gotten into her?"

"I think I know," I mumbled, looking sideways to avoid her questioning pair of red orbs.

"Really? What?"

I slowly moved my grim blue orbs to look penetratingly at her, though, ironically, it felt as if it was I who got stung.

"Lyn, there's something you should know."

The following events were already too predictable to be stated, so I guess I shouldn't say it by detail. Perhaps all I could do now is reiterate what I have told you in the beginning.

Love is a dangerous drug created for what seems like the enjoyment of those who can endure its effects. Back then, I always thought that I was one of those people. I mean, I've been in one relationship after another, and no matter how much tears I see falling out of beautiful eyes, I didn't care. What was there to care about? They were just tears. Just a bunch of glimmering type of fluids that heeds upon the brief misery of an individual.

But, after experiencing the feelings of having someone slap the ignorance out of me and seeing such beautiful eyes produce such bitter tears, I've come to a conclusion.

There's no person in this world that can endure the bitter side of loving.

No one.

**-FIN-**

**T.T**

**Please review . . .**

**LoveLots~**


	4. A Heart that Grieves

I opened my eyes, yawned, and focused my gaze at the well-painted ceiling. Who was to say that it might be Lal who personally painted this? And, can anyone here imagine such beautiful hands not make even more beautiful masterpieces?

Heh.

Look at me, having a high regard for a ceiling. Seriously, how nuts have I turned out to be for the past few years? I guess witnessing three hearts break all at the same time has its toll on your normal way of thinking. Then again, since when did my way of thinking turned normal? If it ever it was normal, then I wouldn't be like this.

I would be happy in the arms of someone.

And, that someone could be Lal.

I immediately stood up from my bed.

Lying here would only leave me with what-if's and if-only's. Reborn was right. I should do something about this.

That's it.

I'm telling her I like her.

Who knows? Maybe, if I'm lucky, Lal might take it as a joke, and receiving a friendly refusal from her may be able to wake me up from this foolishness.

**-m16-**

I fidgeted with a stray lock of my hair as I made my way towards Lal's room. To think that Lal's idea of a "long way" has something to do with squeaky and abandoned hallways, a sign that says "Under Construction, Please Take the Front Entrance Like What a Normal Person Would Do", and a detour towards the front door?

Soon, I found myself at the front of her door, and was about to knock, when I heard footsteps clambering up the stairways.

I didn't know what pushed me to do this, but I scooted towards the nearest winding hallway, and hid there.

Soft, gentle knocks filled the almost empty place, and I took a risk of having a small peek to see who it was. I didn't see much though, since it was kind of dark, and it didn't help that both visitors wore black.

"Just a minute!" came Lal's voice. The door opened, and I had to hide again.

"Good Morning, Miss Mirch," someone greeted in a low, almost authoritative accent.

"Mr. Satorini!" Lal greeted in such a jolly voice, and then her tone softened, almost with tenderness. "And, hello there, you stranger. You look almost human in tux."

"Haha, funny," another voice answered, and Lal seemed to have giggled softly, and so did he.

"Come in, you two. Excuse the mess though; I was trying to look for something." More footsteps were heard, followed by a slam from the door. I emerged from my hiding place, and watched the empty corridor with mixed emotions.

If my hunch was correct, that man there—the Mr. Satorini one—is probably her dad's lawyer, and the owner of the younger voice must be his son. They seem to know each other well—Lal and that guy, I mean. I wonder . . .

Well, I don't think I could bother Lal now, that's what I'm sure about. Perhaps I'll try talking to her tomorrow, when we're out watering our plants. It seems like the only time of the day that I could talk to her without bad repercussions. You know, just our friendly chats.

I treaded the long way back to my room, and found my cellphone beeping like crazy. I almost ran towards it, but when I had it in my hand, it stopped.

Damn.

I pushed the button, and found that I have six missed calls, all coming from one source: Reborn. My eyebrow arched almost involuntarily. What did he want?

I tried calling him for about as much he tried to call me, but it all ended with the same result. No answer.

That bastard.

I wonder if he's trying to get back at me?

With an exasperated sigh, I pressed my phone against my ear, and tried to call him once more, and guess what? The first ring wasn't even done, and he had already put the phone down on me. It was followed by my loud message alert tone.

"Ow!" I cried, pulling the dreaded phone away from my ear. With one hand trying to tend my poor, damaged ear, I checked for the incoming message, only to find that I had more that I could ever bargain for. And again, they all came from one source.

_So, you've told her yet?_  
>Received: 12:18 a.m.<br>From: Reborn

_Hey, how come you're not replying?  
><em>Received: 12:45 a.m.  
>From: Reborn<p>

_By the way, where did you say you live again?_  
>Received: 1:10 p.m.<br>From: Reborn

_I checked your past messages. You say you moved to Namimori, right? What coincidence! My dad and I are heading there right now for some business meeting. How about giving me the address and I'll raid your house as soon as we're done?  
><em>Received: 2:30 p.m.  
>From: Reborn<p>

_Still waiting for your reply, DipShit . . . By the way, how come you're not answering your phone?_  
>Received: 2:45 p.m.<br>From: Reborn

_A bit busy at the moment. Please call again later . . .  
><em>Received: 3:56 p.m.  
>From: Reborn<p>

"Why, that . . ." I gritted my teeth in annoyance, but all the more just sighed the feeling off. It's not like I could pound on him now. Just wait when he comes to visit later on.

Then, I remembered that I had to text him my address. I punched in a few letters while casting my eyes to my window. The curtains have loosened. No wonder it turned dark in here.

After pressing "send", I walked towards my window and adjusted the drapes, only to see Lal across the building. I watched as she started pacing back and forth, as if in a frenzy. She seemed to be shouting at someone, and occasionally rubbing her hands on her face in exasperation. Her head looked up, as if to listen to the other person in her room, and gradually, her gorgeous face contorted and she started bawling.

"Lal," I breathed with worry, and almost attempted to open my window to go to her. But, something stopped me.

Or, rather someone.

A man in a black suit suddenly appeared, and reached out for her trembling shoulder. She stared up at him, and then looked away, shaking her head like crazy. The man seemed to have said something to comfort her, for she slowly turned around to listen to him more. He continued talking, his hands gradually lifting themselves up to hold her cheeks, and, as a pretty concise response, she nodded, and wrapped her arms around him. He, in turn, returned her embrace with a subtle kiss on her blue hair.

My hand trembled as I watch them exchange inaudible words of comfort to one another, most coming from the well-suited man.

Was this man . . .?

Is Lal . . .?

Countless emotions passed through my then wheezing heart as my brain began drawing its own conclusions. However, these generalizations wouldn't connect to one another. They were so different, and they were contradicting each other, causing me immeasurable confusion I have never thought I'd feel in whole life.

Why can't I believe the fact? The evidences are happening there right in front of me, so what hinders me to believe?

They slowly let each other go, but both pairs of hands remained intertwined as they stared at each other. I got a good look at the face of the man before I he leant forward and pushed his lips on hers. She took a step backward from the sudden force, but, even from afar, I could tell that she returned that gesture willingly.

I pulled the curtains together, and looked away in embarrassment and shock.

What . . . was this resurging feeling within me? Why can't I seem to endure it?

Obviously, I wasn't supposed to see that scene under any circumstance, yet, why did I feel like Fate has deliberately presented this to me in a silver-platter? It was as if to convey to me a message I've unconsciously accepted way back when I first saw tears come out of Sheila's innocent eyes.

The love that my heart desires is forbidden.

It is the kind that I do not deserve.

No.

Not a monster like me.

My back slid against the wall as I buried my head underneath my arms in extreme agitation. I didn't know what was more shocking and hurtful; the fact that I have found out that Lal's heart belongs to someone else right after I have fallen deeply for her, or the fact that I have seen who this owner was?

Although, now I wish I didn't. Possibly, if I didn't, then this wouldn't hurt so hard, and I could still have the motivation to stand up and just shrug it off.

I almost fainted from so much pain, but the sound of my phone's alert tone woke me up from my attempt.

Shakily, I lifted it to stare at the blue screen.

_1 New Message_

With a passive feeling, I pressed "open", and almost threw the phone in nuisance.

_Hey, I just read your message now. Sorry. I was a bit busy, and something came up. I'm here with my girlfriend and she's going through something. I need to console her, so I don't think I could come to your place. Maybe, next time, alright? Besides, you two live on the same street. Perhaps, I could bring her with me so you could meet with each other? 'Til then, buddy.  
><em>Received: 4:30 p.m.  
>From: Reborn.<p>

**-FIN-**

**Well, yeah. That's pretty much it.**

**Would appreciate it if you review some more, and to those who already did, thank you! Huggies to you all!**

**LoveLots~**


	5. A Heart that Needs

"Hey."

I rose my supple eyes to stare at the source of the voice, which was Lal herself, looking at me questioningly. Swiftly, I withdrew my gaze.

"Hey," I muttered softly, focusing my eyes at the small plant before me, pretending to examine it.

"Is something wrong?" she suddenly asked. "You've been quite a no-show for the past three days."

Meekly, I shook my head.

"Say, are you mad at me for refusing your invitation the other day? If that's the case, then I'm sorry, but, I've already told you that I was a bit busy, right? And, besides, a conflict suddenly came up . . ."

I forced a small smile as I shook my head again.

"Don't worry," I told her. "I'm not mad at you, kora."

She was still staring at me with fret, and I had no choice but to swerve the topic to something else.

"Those are really pretty, kora," I commented, gesturing at the pot of pink flowers she was holding. She followed my gaze, and smiled.

"Yeah? Thanks. A special person gave these to me . . ."

"Special?" I inquired, leaning onto my window shelf, showing a mask of interest. "Who are we talking about, kora?"

"My, uh, boyfriend."

My lower lip trembled for a short moment before I gave away a wolf whistle followed by a playful grin.

"Wo-wee, Lal!" I exclaimed as she blushed. "I never knew that, kora!"

"Well, it's not my hobby to talk about my lovelife and things like that . . ."

"So, what's he like, kora?"

"You know . . . perfect. He's like everything I could ever ask for in a guy, and, perhaps, even more. Or, maybe, I just feel that way because he's been there for me for as long as I could remember."

"Sounds like an awesome guy . . . I wonder if I could meet him, kora?"

It was then that she started fidgeting.

"Actually, he was here a while ago, but he had to come back to the hotel his dad was staying in to settle a few things, but, he'll be back perchance later."

"What's with the face, kora?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "It's just that things are becoming a bit complicated than I would've expected."

_I couldn't agree with you more,_ I replied silently.

"Anyway," she continued. "Let's talk about you. What was going on, and you barely showed a face to anyone? Did something happen or what?"

"This is nothing, kora."

"No use lying to me, Colonello. I know when a man is not at his best. Are you sick or something?"

"I-I guess . . .?"

She looked at me as if there was something growing in my head. Then she sighed, boosted herself up her railings, and carefully stepped on the ledge.

"L-Lal, what are you doing, kora?"

"Oh, shut up," she yelled, vigilantly taking mince steps towards my window. "It's not like I've never done this before."

She was right. Like before, she was still able to move towards my place with ease. I breathed with reassurance as she reached out for a cable next to me, then stepped on my window ledge, and landed inside my room.

I looked at her grimly as she dusted herself off.

"You didn't have to come here, you know, kora."

"But, I'm already here, so deal with it." She straightened herself, and reached for my forehead, and then down to my cheeks. "You're kind of warm."

"I should be. It means I'm alive, kora."

"Someone's a clown," she grumbled as she grabbed my arm and dragged me towards my bed, pushing me violently into the white sheets.

"Ow, kora!"

I tried to sit up, but she stopped me with her hands, and demanded that I stay. Then she started scouring my place for a piece of hand towel and a basin of iced water. I was left with no choice but to just arrange myself and close my eyes.

It turns out I felt worse than I thought. By the time Lal returned with a washbasin filled with cold water and a towel, I was already shivering, but at the same time sweating like crazy. More often than not, I couldn't get what Lal was saying to me, and, to make matters worse, I couldn't move.

All the more did Lal insist that she stay despite my constant pleadings for her to go.

"Sorry about this, kora," I muttered when my body stopped quavering for a bit.

"It's okay," she whispered back, replacing yet again the towel on my head. "Take it as my way of paying you back for taking care of me back then."

A small chuckle came out of my throat.

"By the way, what were you doing? How'd you get this sick in a matter of three days?"

I shrugged, and then tried to look up at her, but to my surprise, I didn't see Lal, but rather, the tender and innocent face of Sheila.

"Sheila!" I cried as I sprang up, and pulled her towards me.

"C-Colonello!"

"So you really did come back for me . . . I missed you so much. I thought I'd never see you again. You never gave me a chance to apologize to you, kora." I buried my face into her shoulder, and sobbed.

"I'm sorry. . ."

Two hands slid themselves into what small space I allowed between us, and they pushed me away. I looked at her. Her face began to blur, and soon, I found myself staring at a horror-stricken cobaltette.

"L-Lal, kora . . .?"

She didn't answer, and just looked away. I rubbed my eyes with my thumb and index finger, and then stared back at her.

Indeed, it was Lal.

"Y-you're . . ." My lower lip began trembling again and I bit it, so my eyes produced tears instead. "You're not Sheila, kora."

Frustration overwhelmed my whole being as I gripped whatever it was that was at my hands' reach and started to softly weep.

What was I thinking?

Lal can't be Sheila.

Sheila's not here anymore.

How many times did I have to instill that to myself? How many times did I have to wake up from my useless dreaming that she'll return and forgive me?

Reconciliation can never be earned at this rate. Not anymore. It was all too late, and my hope to love again is long gone.

I should have accepted that fact a long, long time ago. Long before I've met Lal.

Why can't I do that?

"S-sorry about that, kora," I sniffed as I felt my surroundings begin to shake. That is, as she clambered up and crawled towards me to reach for my dry cheek. I stared at her beautiful brown eyes, and almost couldn't help myself.

It was a good thing her voice stopped me before I could do something unthinkable.

"Is there something here that you want to say to me?" she asked, examining my ashen face. "Who's Sheila? And, why do you seem so desperate to see her?"

A cough reverberated from my lungs, as I fell down to her. Her body stiffened—I felt it—but nevertheless, I sensed her every movement as she tenderly laid me down again.

"Sorry," I muttered again. "But, you know you don't have to do this. I think you should leave before I do something wrong to you, kora."

"No," she refused. "Not until I can conclude to myself that you're feeling fine, and I've got news for you, boy, you are far from being fine to me."

I groaned, and then coughed a few times before snuggling myself deeper into my pillow.

"Are you still cold?" she continued, running her fingers through my hair.

"Yeah . . ."

"Then, maybe we should get your head out of it to make you feel better. What if we talk about this Sheila girl? I bet that would take your mind off appalling things."

"Heh, you loose that bet," I told her.

"Come on," she prodded, gently pushing my head. "I deserve to know."

"On what grounds, kora?"

"Can you see somebody else here who you can talk to? Besides . . . this little fella over here?" She pulled out a little blue seagull plushy from under my pillow and waved it in front of me.

"Give me that," I scoffed, reaching for it, but she pulled it away.

"I won't, unless you tell me."

I groaned as I rolled my eyes in false exasperation.

"Fine," I sighed. "I'll tell you, but you have to promise me that you'd be honest in giving your opinion when I ask you for it, kora."

"Okay," she shrugged. "Shoot."

I adjusted myself before speaking.

Then, I told her everything. Starting from where I came from, who Sheila was, how I met her, and why I've been acting weird by now.

Yeah, that's right. I've introduced to her the real me.

The monster that was named Colonello.

Every now and then, I'd notice different emotions passing by her eyes, but she didn't give much of a response, or any uneasiness. She just stared at me blankly, and, for some reason, comfortingly.

It made me feel better for a split second.

"Well, that's pretty much it," I've concluded. "I don't think I've missed anything significant, kora."

"So, what happened to her? This Sheila girl I mean."

"An old friend of mine told me once that she has been overseas to continue her studies, where she met another bloke whom she fell for . . . after at least six years of grieving, kora."

"So, she's happily married now or something?"

"Nope." I looked at her and gave a chaste smile. "She killed herself, kora."

She looked at me with both shock and fear. I had to at least chuckle by the way that she stared.

"Yeah, I know. Bitter way to end a life, huh? Well, I guess too much scars are still embedded in her pure, little heart when that guy came for her. Which is why when he did the same thing I did, she couldn't take it and chose to end her life instead, kora."

"That's kind of . . ."

"Disheartening, isn't it?" I asked. "Why else do you think would I feel so culpable to the point that she stays in my mind in my delirious states, kora?"

"Demoralizing as it is, it's still not your fault. It's not like you drove her to kill herself."

"True as that may be, there's still the fact that if only I apologized her and proved to her of my love, then maybe I would've been able to protect her from that other guy, kora."

She looked blandly at me.

"Do you still love her?"

"What, kora?"

"Let me rephrase that. Have you ever _been _in love with her?"

"What kind of question is that?" I scoffed. "Of course I do, otherwise why would I have this strange drive to kill myself as well just so I could be with her and protect her, kora?"

"Who knows?" she replied. "Perchance you may have just been overwhelmed with pity for her, or it could be that you were just, as you have said it, hypnotized with her naive blue eyes."

"I _did_ love her, kora."

"Well, do you still love her up until now?"

I blinked at her, and then casted a sidelong glance.

"I doubt, kora." I looked back at her. "Well, what do _you _think?"

"Me? _I_ think it's sweet of you to still have this urge to protect her even if she's on the other side of the world now. However, you're not being fair to yourself. She's gone now, and is probably happy wherever she is, and so should you. If you keep on convincing your heart that loving is never anymore essential, then you're just fooling yourself. Your heart needs, Colonello, and what it needs is love. The more you try to escape pain, the more will pain try and conquer you. Be a man, and try to face it. Sure, you could get hurt again, but that doesn't mean you don't have to stand up, and strive again."

"Wow," was all I could say.

"Take it easy," she whispered before leaning forward to give me another kiss on the forehead. Again the feelings of guilt and pleasure have begun to combine with one another to form a shapeless feeling that overpowers me.

How can I tell her that I already know of what she's telling me? It is true that my heart needs nothing but love; love that would come from someone like her, and _she_ loves somebody else. How can I relive what is it that she is telling me when, in the end, I know that it can never be?

Oh, how I wanted to believe. How I desire to consider that these hands that are comforting me, voice that is soothing me, and eyes that are trying to convey a message to me were all mine to hold, to hear, and to see.

"Hey, Lal?" I called to her. "Thanks for this. You were right. It feels great to share things like this to someone, kora."

"I know what you mean," she giggled, resuming her affectionate gesture to my hair. "Hey, look. Your fever broke too."

I didn't bother answering anymore. My eyes have already closed and my mind had wandered off to dreamland; off to a place where I can call the things that do not belong to me as mine.

**-FIN-**

**Ano . . . was Lal a little too OOC here? Sorry! I just had to do it!**

**Besides, Lal's a woman, so let's just pretend that her maternal instinct is what drives her to do those things for Colonello.**

**Okay, thanks for reading, though!**

**LoveLots~**


	6. A Heart that Betrays

The sound of the six o'clock bell has arrived a bit too fast in my opinion. I was close to believing my dreams, because, for the first time, it wasn't about Sheila, but about Lal. As a first, it was of joy, not of pain. It was of smiles, not of tears. Everything was what I would have always wanted.

But, I guess that it would be better to wake up now than to find myself believing in a lie later.

With a stretch, I pushed myself up from my bed. Nothing beats the feeling of recovering from an illness, no matter how light it was. My eyes drifted to the empty basin and the towel neatly draped on a nearby chair.

If my memory serves me right, Lal had left in the middle of the afternoon, though I'm not sure if that soothing farewell came from her or from my own fantasies.

Ah well. Life goes on, I guess.

Once I put away the basin and towel, I went to take a bath. I guess my sudden seizure from a while ago prohibited me to do so.

While I was walking around, I found a stack of envelopes at the foot of my door. I picked each one up.

Mail.

With a toothbrush on my mouth, I scanned through each and everyone, until I came across an interesting one. A long, envelope that says, in fine print, "To: Ms. Lal Mirch."

For Lal . . .?

At once, I finished cleaning myself and got dressed. I walked towards my window, and saw that her curtains were rolled up, meaning she was home.

Perchance I could use this letter as an excuse to visit her?

Carefully, I treaded the same path she crossed just this morning and that night we first met. Who knew how exhilaratingly dangerous the whole trip was? No wonder she prefers this over the "long way".

"Lal?" I called out as I stepped inside. The window was open, so I welcomed myself in, and, besides, the ledge next to her window was too dangerous to stand on for too long.

I looked around, and saw that no one was around, and yet the light was on, the radio was left open, and a pile of clean clothes sat on her bed.

My eyebrows rose almost involuntarily.

That can't mean right.

"Can I help you?" a voice asked from behind me. I turned around, and found her, with only a bath towel to cover herself.

My eyes tripped themselves throughout her whole curvaceous figure; from the evident bump of her breasts down to her smooth thighs, and then back again to her dripping face.

"Can I help you?" she repeated, a little impatiently. It was then that I without delay turned my back on her and covered my eyes dramatically.

"You're overreacting, Colonello," she said. "You've already seen me. You don't have to present to me delayed chivalry."

"Sorry, kora," I mumbled as I slowly turned around and casted my eyes away from her chest. Shakily, I handed out the letter. "This was sent to me by mistake, you see, and . . ."

She snatched the white envelope from my hand and examined it. Then, her face turned bleak, as if she saw something she didn't like.

"Is something the matter, kora?"

"No," she replied quickly, setting the sealed envelope underneath a nearby stack of books. "It's just a few business firms and what-not from my father's companies and such. Nothing significant . . ."

"Well, why was it sent to me, kora?"

"I used to stay in your place before you moved in here. Some idiots must think that I still live there, and thus, they sent it to you by mistake." She faced me, and smiled. "Thanks for going through the trouble of delivering it to me, though."

"Sure," I mumbled, inadvertently landing my journeying stare down at her body. Again, I glanced away before getting a good look. "I think I should go, kora."

"Of course," she whispered. I started moving towards the window, but, to my surprise, she seemed to have misunderstood, and headed the other way towards the door, thus both ending up colliding with one another. It wasn't a hard hit, thankfully, and we didn't end up falling against each other like how it always does in movies, but . . .

When have I last realized how beautiful her eyes were? Such succulent, emollient auburn orbs resting upon a pretty face, and both were looking at me in a very intense way. It could just be my imagination, but, to me, the gratifying piercing feeling was real.

Before I knew what was going on, I already felt her lips against mine. I couldn't tell who kissed first, but I'm pretty much certain not one was retreating, especially not me.

This probably was what my inner self was yearning for all this time; to hold her as though she was only mine.

Lal is mine.

Only mine.

I am hers.

Only hers.

The rest will probably follow through, but right now, I am once again trapped in a private world where only two people exist.

And, I am not planning on leaving it like last time.

Slowly, she let go of me as I rested my forehead onto hers. Her eyes looked up at me, and she smiled. I smiled back before I pulled her towards me once more.

"Lal?"

I felt both of our bodies froze.

Simultaneously, our heads bobbed towards the direction of the owner of the voice, and I swore I heard something crash, like the sound of a heart breaking.

Perhaps, even three.

"Reborn," Lal gasped.

Immediately, I let go of her, and tried to approach him. Evidently, his face contorted as he walked towards me, violently grabbed me by the collar, and gave me a hard punch on the face, sending me towards Lal's bedside table. I tried to straighten myself up, but he was quick to grab me again, and it was there that I first saw his calm, dark eyes burn with anger.

And, no, I can't blame him.

"You bastard," he muttered through gritted teeth. I winced. "What do you think were you doing with my girlfriend, you perverted asshole?"

"Reborn, I . . ."

"How did you know who I am?" he demanded, shaking me aggressively. The sound of a gun being cocked and Lal's shriek followed. "Who the hell are you?"

"Reborn, put that down!" she cried.

"I-it's me, k-kora . . ." I replied hoarsely, looking directly at his eyes. Patently, his expression transitioned from angered to shock.

He recognized me.

"Colonello . . .?" he inquired with disbelief. "Could you really be Colonello?"

"Yeah, it's me, buddy," I told him, shakily pulling out a chain from within my shirt to present to him a blue pendant. The "Rain Pacifier".

"It really is you . . ." He tightened his grip on the trigger and pressed the gun harder into my temple, but, I saw it: the hesitation in his eyes. Expectedly, he pulled the gun away, and threw me away, letting my head hit the wall for the second time.

"You," he breathed, tears coming out of his eyes as he backed away and shook his head hysterically. "H-how could you?" I couldn't do anything else but stare back at him, straight in the eye. The desire to kill me was still palpable, and yet, he was fighting it.

"Reborn," Lal's voice called out, and I watched as she stood in the middle of us, grabbing both his shoulders and forcing him to look at her. "Please, let's talk about this. It may not be good for you to be angered like this, alright?"

"Shut up," I heard him burble as he pushed her out of the way, and headed for the door, stepping on a bouquet of flowers which presumably was for Lal on his way out. She tried to follow him, but I grabbed her shoulder, and, silently volunteered to do it instead.

Ignoring the pain from my back, I ran down the winding staircase, constantly calling for his name as I go. At last, I reached the last stairway, and there I found him, lying unconsciously at the foot of the flight of steps.

"Reborn!"

**-m16-**

The rest of the events passed by in a blur. Occasionally, I'd recognize a few sounds like the sound of sirens and Lal's constant pleadings for Reborn to wake up, but, rather than that, nothing.

Next thing I knew, I was sitting at the waiting bench, watching Lal pace back and forth, muttering unrecognizable words. I sighed as I adjusted the ice bag the nurse gave me to another throbbing part, silently wishing that it would also work on my throbbing heart.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw her halt, and intently stared at the red light that said "emergency".

"Please says something, kora," I mumbled, looking away.

To my surprise, she gave out a chuckle.

"My dad once told me that if I had nothing good to say to a person, might as well not say anything at all," she answered without looking at me.

"If you're mad at me, you can go right ahead and say it to my face, kora."

"Mad at you?" she jeered, looking at me with a sarcastic smile. "Dear god, Colonello, I want to _slap _you dead in the face right now if I could . . ."

I looked at her with incredulity.

"But, I wouldn't do that," she immediately countered. "Then I'd be a hypocrite."

"A hypocrite, kora?"

"Much as it pains me to admit this, but . . ." She gestured me to move aside, and she sat down beside me. "In case you didn't notice, I kissed you back. If I get mad at you now and blame you for all this, then I wouldn't be fair with myself."

"Why _did_ you kiss me back, kora?"

"I don't know! Pity? Confusion? Frustration?" She ran her hands through her azure locks, eyes tearing up. "I was frustrated, alright? Long before I even met you, and, if my memory serves me right, I've told you all about it. Then, you—alongside that kindhearted attitude of yours—_you_ came. You were so nice to me, but at the same time, evasive, so I didn't know what I was to think of you. It also didn't help that you told me who you really are. So . . . so, I don't know."

"I'm sorry, kora," I mumbled as she looked at me. "Sorry that you had to meet me." I turned to face her, but she immediately pulled her gaze away.

"But, I love you, kora."

"Well, I don't."

She stood up and walked a few paces before continuing.

"I'm sorry, Colonello, but, I don't think I feel anything for you besides affinity. Reborn . . . he's the one that I love, and you . . ." She gave me a sidelong glance. "You just remind me of my father."

_You're right_, I silently replied, not even bothering to look up at her. I just kept my head down, letting the lone tear fall right off it, towards my lifeless hand.

She doesn't love me.

I love her.

But, she doesn't love me.

But, I love her.

The red light turned off, and a man in a white suit came out with a grim face. I saw how Lal's face turned pale.

"May I speak with a relative?" he asked in a low, solemn voice. He stared at both of us, and I can tell that he has concluded that no one of us is what he was looking for.

"Anyone close enough?" he lightly suggested, eyebrow arched expectantly.

"I'm his fiancée," Lal volunteered, refusing to cast any form of stare at me. "How is he?"

"Frankly, not very well," the doctor replied. His next words were stated in a whisper, so I didn't get to hear any of them, but judging by the way Lal's eyes began to tear up, it wasn't good news.

The doctor left us, and soon, a nurse approached us and led us to a peaceful room where Reborn was sleeping serenely. As soon as the nurse left us, Lal walked briskly towards the lone bed, and wrapped her arms around the slumbering figure.

I was forced to watch this all.

"Sleep well now, my love," she whispered, brushing her lips tenderly to his, and then straightening herself up to stare at me.

"What did the doctor say, kora?" I asked as she slumped herself at a nearby chair.

"Do you even have to know?"

"Of course, I do," I answered, dragging another chair and placing it next to her. "Reborn's my friend, kora."

She looked at me with a questioning glint.

"Oh yeah. You two know each other."

I nodded. She kept on staring.

"What?" I asked.

"How did you two know each other?" she prodded.

"He and I went to college together, kora."

"Oh." Her eyes directed downwards. I knew that look. She needed to talk with someone about something . . . else.

"I could tell you more, if you like, kora."

"Please do. I need to get this off my head for at least a moment."

"Well, let's see. I met Reborn during our freshman years, kora. A year after the 'Sheila' incident."

"Does he know about what happened with you back then?"

"Of course he did. Everyone at school did, which is why, as soon as I entered my first day as a college student, people began looking at me funnily. They avoided me and isolated me. Nobody wanted to at least have a little chat. So, for the first time since I first entered school, I was forced to eat by myself, kora."

I stared wistfully at his sleeping form.

"Then I met that bloke over there, kora." I gripped at the cushion I sat on as I began reminiscing of that fateful day.

_Hey, blondie._

_. . ._

_Hey, I'm talking to you, guy whose name is kinda long for me to pronounce. You with the yellow head, hey._

_What do you want, kora?_

_Why you all alone there, Mr. Hotshot?_

_You don't know who I am, I presume, judging by the way you approach me, kora._

_I know you. Yeah, you're that Mr. Heartbreaker they were talking about. The guy with the many girls, right?_

_. . . _

_Right?_

_Isn't this about the time you start running away or, perhaps, if you're heartless enough, start calling me names and such, kora?_

_Why would I do that?_

_Because I'm a monster, kora._

_I don't think you're a monster._

_You don't, kora?_

_No. Of course not. You're too wimpy to be a monster. Pocket monster, maybe._

_Heh, good one, kora._

_So . . ._

_So what, kora?_

_Isn't this about time you stand up there and join me and my friends to lunch?_

_Huh?_

_You heard me._

_But, why?_

_We're lacking a member._

_But, why me, kora?_

_You ask way too many questions. Just stand up and follow me._

_Wait._

_What?_

_Who're you?_

_You don't know who I am?_

_No, let me guess. The Easter Bunny, right?_

_Yeah, you'd wish I was that fluffy._

_. . ._

_Name's Reborn, chap._

"Before I knew it, Reborn had pulled me in what seemed like a prominent group I was never aware of. They called themselves the Arcobalenos, or the Rainbow—a group composed of various characters with traits you'd never know you could endure, kora." I pulled out the chain necklace with the blue pendant to show to her. "They gave me this, and called me the Rain Arcobaleno . . ."

"The tranquilizer . . ." she muttered. I looked at her.

"Y-Yeah . . ."

She smiled weakly at me as she pulled out another chain necklace similar to mine, with a gray pacifier as its pendant.

"I know you might find this funny, but, back in high school, I used to be part of the Arcobalenos as the Rain Tranquilizer. When we graduated, I had to move away, since my dad's condition began to worsen." She chuckled. "To think that those idiots would have that group continue until college . . ."

"So, technically, I replaced you, kora?"

"Yeah, that's right. This . . ." She raised the pendant to let it shine under the faint light. "This used to be blue, but it faded into gray as time passed. I'm surprised yours didn't."

I stared at my glossy ornament, and sighed.

"Perhaps, you're the rightful owner of the Blue Pacifier."

"Huh?" I chuckled.

"Nevermind," she mumbled, placing back the necklace inside her pocket. With a sigh, she stared at me gravely.

"If you must know, his heart had failed him, literally."

"What, kora?"

"Perhaps you don't know this since he doesn't like telling others about this, but, he was born with a weak heart. Severe spur of emotions is not good for him and his health, and his body is too frail for excessive labor, which is why, when he found us . . ."

"I understand, kora," I interrupted, standing up.

"Where are you going?"

"Just need some air, kora."

Without waiting for an answer, I hurriedly walked out of the room, and headed for the rooftop of the building. The breeze passed by me as I headed for the edge, making me shiver

The evening zephyr was always the coldest in my opinion.

Far, far too cold.

I stared at the view of the whole city shimmering with lights. Still as beautiful as how I remembered when I first looked at it. Who knew that in this city, where I came to escape bitter memories, I would meet those who would bring me back to acrimony?

My knees buckled, and I fell down to the ground. It was too late and cold for any sane man to come near me, so I chose to stay there on the cold floor, looking up at the stars.

_Scatter me across the sky, and I'll shine all night, and just like a star, I'll end up falling for you. _

I know I have been too selfish, even back then, and yet, why do I keep on becoming like that? Why do I always seem to fall for love's poisonous side-effects? It would've been better if I was the only one suffering, but why must there be other casualties?

Lal hates me.

Reborn might die because of me.

Might as well make the world end in my name, to make it complete!

Like the child that I am, I started bawling silently. But then again, why bother keeping it silent when there's no one to hear it? I may as well cry all I want until no voice come out of my throat.

Maybe that will ease up the pain at least a little. It was worth a shot.

Another arctic breeze passed by me, blocking my voice.

I couldn't shout anymore.

Rather, I stood up despite the stabbing pain in my back, and looked at the city one last time. Unconsciously, my hand reached for my chest, and gripped my shirt hard.

My heart.

My poor, blemished, and out-of-dated heart.

It was never given a chance to prove its worth.

Perhaps it's because it has no worth . . . unless you call constant heartbreaks as a worth.

I wonder . . .

Why was I given a heart in the first place when, in the end, all it can ever do is destroy?

It can't create, nor help create in that sense.

Having it was senseless.

Living with a heart that is unable to love is absolutely meaningless! I might as well throw it away, right here, right now!

I watched as how every light closed one-by-one, until the evening became as dark as I would've remembered back then, when I first met Lal Mirch. With one last sigh, I turned around, and headed back to the room. I found Lal has fallen asleep, lying down at the couch, face stained with tears. Silently, I crept towards her, and knelt beside her.

She never looked lovelier this way, yet how disheartening this view was for me. It felt horrible.

To think that I have caused this much pain to her, when all this time, I was careful not to do that?

"Lal, kora?" I called, daintily brushing my finger down her cheek. She reacted with an aggravated moan, but other than that, nothing.

"Please wake up, I need to tell you something, kora," I whispered, lightly shaking her, but she didn't budge. Almost immediately, I decided to let her like that. I stood up, and walked over to Reborn. Even without doing anything, I knew he wouldn't wake up, no matter how many times I shake him, but, I know that he can hear me.

"Hey, buddy?" I called, not letting any part of me near him. "I need to tell you something, but I doubt you'll find this acceptable. I want to throw my heart away. No, not in a manner in which I'd kill myself, though there's still _that _possibility hovering above my entire being. Rather, in the sense that I won't love anymore. I promised you that I'd move on and tell Lal how I feel about her, and I did them, so, I want you to keep a promise to me as well, kora."

I turned around to look at Lal.

"I'm going to try my best and give you another chance, and if ever you _did _get that chance, I want you to take good care of Lal, and love her for all the times I wasn't given a chance to do so. Love her until you can't love anymore." I looked back at him. "Can you promise me that, kora?"

Two stray tears fell down on Reborn's face. I smiled.

"Surely, if you were awake, you'd accuse me of being a crybaby, right?" I wiped my dampening eyes as I pulled out the necklace again. The blue pacifier shone so beautifully, and it would only hurt me more if I had to witness how it will fade into gray someday.

"What am I saying, kora? Of course I know you can keep that promise." I reached for his hand, and enclosed in it the sole treasure that I have cherished for many years.

The treasure of indiscriminate friendship.

"Knowing you, I know you can do it, kora."

I returned back to Lal, and found her shivering. Unceremoniously, I pulled off my jacket and draped it over her small, fragile body, subtly filling my senses with her scent.

Her scent alone can cause the death of me.

I tried to open my mouth to speak, but the tears arrived a little quicker. As an alternative, I searched for something, and found the same long envelope stuck in her pocket.

She must've read this while I was up there. The evident stains on her lovely countenance gesticulates that this letter contained something that she didn't want to read, or perhaps, something that she could've waited a long, long time ago.

Crudely, I tore open the now unsealed envelope, and read the contents of the letter.

As I have expected, it was from her father, asked to be sent to her on this specific day.

_Happy 25__th__ birthday, My Precious Angel. _

_I had this letter written long before you were born for I have expected that I will not live when you reach the coming of this age. When that happens, I want you to remember one last thing from the many, many nonsense I would reiterate when you grow a little older._

_Love, my dear._

_Love like you've never loved before._

_I know it will be hard, especially after seeing my body deteriorate with your very own eyes, but still, I want you to love. Do it in memory of me. Like me, give your heart to those who needs it, even if there's nothing for you to take._

_Every heart has its use in life, that's what I believe, and we are born to this world to find where our hearts belong. Be it dedicated for a special someone, or for an even worthier cause. _

_Your heart is not an exception._

_No one's heart is._

_I want you to know that on this age because this was the same age I first got married. She was the real woman that I have loved, but, due to gruesome circumstances that are best left unsaid, she sacrificed her heart for someone else. That someone else was your mother. Now, dear don't think that I only loved your mother because of that. As a matter of fact, I loved her as well, but not as much as I could've love my first wife. Which is why . . ._

_Here is the truth, my dear:_

_Your mother holds my first wife's heart. It pained me well to watch as she gave away her heart for someone else, but, it pained even more to watch the new holder of her heart love someone else._

_I never wanted that, so I acted without thinking; something I will never ask you to do ever in your life. But, thanks to that, I've had you._

_Oh my dear, I can tell that you're crying right now. Please don't. I want you to smile. _

_Smile for your father, Angel._

_It's the only thing I would've wished for._

_Happy birthday again._

_Long live, my Precious Angel._

_Love,_

_Your Father who loves you very dearly._

I turned the paper, and found that it was blank. Just when I thought that there was still more.

So, his first wife gave away her heart for Lal's mother, which is why she is still alive until she died a few days ago.

Talk about tragic.

I couldn't help but smile.

I took a pen, scribbled something behind the paper, folded it and slid it back to the envelope. Carefully, I returned the envelope to her pocket, and walked away with a phone on hand.

**-FIN-**

**Er . . . I know this chapter is a little long and fast-paced, but it's only natural, because this is the ****second to the last chapter****! Please stay tuned for the last one, and while we're waiting, why not give me your ideas for the ending? (Note: I've already finished this WHOLE fic days before and I already have an ending for it, but, still I am interested with your ideas :D)**

**Thanks for reading!**

**LoveLots~**


	7. A Heart that Loves

_I looked at all of them one-by-one. From this point of view, I couldn't sense anything special, besides the fact that they act like they're not _normal _human beings. As if I was joining a group of aliens._

_The lady, who seem to have this permanent star-slash-flower mark on her face, stood and called for our attention._

"_We're a bit quiet than usual everybody! Why don't we talk about something?"_

"_Like what?" the soft-spoken raven-haired man asked._

"_Don't ask _her _that, idiot," the purple-haired boy reprimanded him. "It's probably going to be mushy, girl's stuff, I'm sure of it."_

"_Besides, I like this silence," the green-haired guy chimed in. "It gives me a chance to read this book in peace."_

_Reborn and the other light-blue haired member remained silent._

"_Oh, come on, guys," Luce invited. "This is going to be meaningful, I promise."_

_They all gave silent groans before giving consent. Luce beamed as she sat down._

"_Okay, our question for the day is: 'What is your strongest desire in life?'"_

"_I told you all so," Skull nagged in a sing-song voice._

"_Skull, don't be rude," Fon told him softly._

"_Okay, Skull, since you're so open-minded with yourself, you go first."_

"_Wha-? Why me?" Skull's face almost turned as purple as his locks, but he simply let it go, and answered. _

"_My dream in life is to be the best stuntman there is! Yeah, I'll be called Skull the Great, and everybody will bow down to my awesomeness!"_

_They all stared at him compliantly._

"_Charming," Reborn spoke, throwing an empty canteen at him. "Now, go fill this up, your Awesomeness."_

"_I will not be ordered around with the likes of you!" _

"_What's that?"_

"_N-nothing, Reborn-senpai!" Quickly, Skull picked up the empty bottle, and ran away. I almost laughed if it weren't so pitiful._

"_My dream, if I may state, is very simple," Fon said. "To be able to master Martial Arts and have a class of my own. I do not wish for fame, like how our dear purple-haired friend desires, but rather, I want everyone to recognize that force is not synonymous to true power."_

"_What about you Mammon?"_

_Mammon looked up from under his patterned cap to stare at all of us. Then he sighed._

"_All I want in life is to be rich," he answered simply, returning back to his original business._

"_Yeah, good luck with that," Reborn replied, taking a small sip from his cola. Luce gave him a warning glare before beaming at the next person to answer._

"_And, you Verde?"_

"_I wish for all of you to shut the fuck up. This is filled with nonsense and giddiness—two of my most hated things in life."_

"_You have my support, brother," Reborn said sarcastically, raising his fist up to be ignored by Verde. Again, Luce provided him with a chastise glower._

"_Do you _always _have to be sarcastic? I mean, is that some sort of involuntary thing with you?"_

"_What?" Reborn reasoned out. "Sarcasm is my body's natural defense against stupidity. If I don't do this, then I may as well end up like a few certain people I know of." Suddenly, his face contorted into something that showed of pain, and he bent down to rub what seems like his bruised leg. I covered an accidental laughter with a few fake coughs._

"NEVER _kick me in the thighs, woman," he cried calmly, if ever that was possible to be described._

"My _dream is to be married," Luce said dreamily, ignoring Reborn's disgusted expression. "To be able to settle down and start a family. If ever I'm blessed a son, I'll call him Aries, and if a girl, I'll call her Aria." Instinctively, she stared bluntly at Reborn to warn him that she does not like a reaction. Reborn, on the other hand, took it in another way._

"_Don't look at me," he said plainly. "Currently, I'm unavailable."_

_SLAP._

"_Okay, Mr. Hotshot," Luce sighed, rubbing her hand and looking away. "What's _you're _dream?"_

"_For Verde's dream to come true . . ."_

"_Would you like another kick, Sir Satorini?" Luce asked in her own adaptation of derision._

"_Fine," Reborn sighed, adjusting himself. "I want to finish law school, and become a first-grade lawyer, so I could one day replace my dad and be my girlfriend's new lawyer. That way, I will be able to convince myself that I am worthy to stand by her side and protect her."_

_We all stared at him with surprised expression while he countered us with a blank stare as he sipped loudly from his drink._

"_Reborn," Luce breathed. "That's so . . . sweet and beautiful."_

_Said Arcobaleno smiled, and threw the empty cup away, towards the head of a passer-by._

"_Bull's-eye," he muttered, pumping his fist as Luce rolled her eyes._

"_And, what about you, Colonello?"_

_I looked up at Luce's smiling face._

"_H-huh?"_

"_What's your dream?"_

"_My . . . dream, kora?"_

"_It could be a desire, for all we care," Reborn chimed in again. _

"_Shut up, Reborn," Luce countered._

"_A desire . . ." I mumbled, and then looked up at all of them._

"_All I could ever want in life is forgiveness, kora."_

**-m16-**

_Wake up . . . wake up . . ._

_Please, open your eyes and wake up._

Slowly, my eyes fluttered open only to be forced shut by a blinding white light. I blinked furiously to adjust to the sudden luminosity, and soon, I found her face looking at me with worry and, soon, with joy.

"Lal," I whispered.

"You're awake," she choked, trying but failing to hold back the tears. Soon, she was crying, wrapping her arms around me and burying her face into my shoulder. I weakly returned her embrace.

"Worried about me, Angel?"

"Idiot," she grumbled. "I almost died with agony! Never try and jeopardize your life again, alright?"

"Alright, alright," I consoled her, running my hand against her back. "I won't, as long as you promise me you stop crying, okay?"

She raised her tear-stained face and smiled at me.

"I'll try," she mumbled before leaning forward to brush her lips against mine.

My heart skipped a beat.

Wait . . . my heart?

Immediately, I sprang up, and involuntarily reached for my chest.

My heart was still beating.

But . . .

"Don't worry," Lal answered my silent question. "You're safe now."

"Really?"

She nodded as she held my lips once more. I didn't deprive her, and simply kissed her back.

Yet, strange . . .

Why does my heart seem to doubt this? It's as if I couldn't accept this wholeheartedly, and yet, a strong part of me is jumping with joy as I held her in my arms like so.

She broke away for a moment to breathe.

"Lal?" I called to her. She looked at me. "What happened? How was I saved? Aren't I supposed to be dead? My heart failed, remember?"

She looked at me solemnly as she reached for my closed hand. Then again, why has it kept itself closed all this time? I feel like I'm holding something, but, how come I can't remember what it is?

"It's true," she whispered, enveloping my fist with her warm hands. "You were supposed to be dead by now, but . . ." She didn't continue, and just started crying. I tried reaching for her trembling shoulder, but she easily composed herself and instead asked me to open my hand for an answer.

Shakily, I did, and what flashed before me was a blue pendant that shone ever so brightly under the bright light. It reminded me of someone's eyes.

But, wait . . . this pacifier isn't mine. Mine was yellow. This should belong to the Rain Arcobaleno, the group's tranquilizer . . .

"Is this yours?" I asked Lal, and she shook her head, showing me her gray pacifier.

"If not, then . . ."

Suddenly, it all came back to me. The dreaded memory of a previous night. It all became clear now.

This . . . I . . . All this time, I was in here because I saw them; Lal and Colonello . . . my girlfriend and my bestfriend . . . I saw them! Now, I remember why everything hurts right now . . .

I was betrayed . . .

By the man I've treated almost equal to a brother . . .

"Colonello . . ." I muttered through gritted teeth, and I attempted to jump off bed, but she stopped me.

"Where the fuck is that bastard?" I growled. She didn't answer me, and just focused from preventing me to get anywhere near the floor.

"Don't hide that traitor from me, Lal!" I cried. "Where is he?"

"He's six feet under the ground!" she finally answered, letting me go and backing away. Again, she started weeping as I watched her in shock.

"What?"

"Colonello, he . . ." She looked at me directly in the eye, and then pointed at the pacifier in my hand.

It was starting to fade.

**-m16-**

"Reborn!" she yelled after me as I marched out of the room, towards the flight of stairs that will lead me to the rooftop.

I needed air.

I might get suffocated if don't.

Finally, I reached the middle of the open space, and there I fell down on my knees, bawling like I've never did in a long time.

And, it was because I never had the chance to cry like this.

Lal knelt beside me, and closed me in another comforting embrace, but it wasn't enough. My heart berated as if this was prohibited for me.

As if I was never allowed to love her.

Like our love was forbidden.

But, then again, this was Colonello's heart; his own heart that was forever filled with eternal regret and the hopelessness for love.

Colonello's heart that now beats within my chest, letting me live another lifetime.

"Why . . ." I muttered, looking at the small pendant that rolled itself in front of me, letting itself get soak with my hot, bitter tears. "Colonello, you bastard, why?"

"Reborn," Lal whispered. "Please, you're over-exerting yourself again."

"How come you didn't stop him?" I cried, and she stared at me with such big, mournful eyes.

"I didn't know myself what he was planning . . ." she whispered, casting a side-long glance. "I-I just woke up, and received the news that you have a donor. Amazed, and surprised, I asked the doctors if I could meet with the family. They told me that the donor didn't have a family, but they allowed me to see who he was . . ."

Colonello's and his goofy grin passed by my head as Lal utter the next words.

"What they showed me was the dead body of Colonello."

"No . . ." I breathed, shaking my head furiously. "This shouldn't have happened! He shouldn't have done this! What was there to take? He could've had what he wished for if I was never around and yet . . ."

_All I could ever want in life is forgiveness, kora . . ._

Colonello.

That bastard.

He knew he didn't have to do this, and yet, he did.

I looked to my side and found Lal still trying to hold back the tears.

He did this because he loved her.

"Lal . . ." I muttered, gently pulling her towards me. She easily gave consent, and recommenced her lament on my shoulders, leaving me to pat her comfortingly.

That's all I could do for now. Besides, no matter how hard I try, I can never top off what he had done for her. My rival for Lal's feelings and for everything else had done the most implausible act of all times.

He gave his heart away so the love of his life could be with who she wanted to be.

And that "who" never became him.

Lal loved me instead of him.

"All he ever wanted was forgiveness," I found myself muttering to the wind. Lal looked at me, and watched as I reached for the fading pendant. "Nobody ever gave him that . . . not even his own best friend. All he did was wander from place to place, trying to achieve it by any means he could think of, and, when he reached this place, he found it . . ." I raised the now faded blue pendant to make it at least catch the light of the sun before it sets. To my delight, it did, and for a brief moment, I watched how it shimmered before our very eyes until, ever so slowly, it faded into nothing but a dull little orb.

"He found it in the hands of his bestfriend and the girl he loved more than anything in this world."

**-m16-**

_I'm sorry . . .  
><em>Received: 12:13 a.m.  
>From: Colonello<p>

_To be honest with you, I've . . . nevermind. Lal might read this, and the both of you might remember me as a perverted asshole, so no. What I do want to tell you is that I REGRET what I have done, and I hope that you might find it in the day to forgive me, even if it is last minute. Knowing that you still accept me as your bestfriend (or acquaintance at least) will surely keep my mind at peace._

Received: 12:47 a.m.  
>From: Colonello<p>

_Suddenly, I was reminded. Didn't you once mention that your dream was to finish law school so you could prove yourself worthy of the love of your girlfriend? Were you talking about Lal back then? Of course you were . . . so, all this time that I've known you, you were already shagging on a girl who would someday be my future crush! Reborn, you lucky bastard :D_

Received: 2: 34 a.m.  
>From: Colonello<p>

_I was thinking . . . what if you two had children? That's a big possibility, I can tell. Say, would you mind naming your first child after me? I won't mind, surely, as long as you don't give the name to a girl. If that happens, then in mercy's name, I will pray that the child turn lesbian. =))))))) Kidding, of course._

Received: 3:01 a.m.

From: Colonello

_Man, I've just had a run-through of all the things I've been sending, and wow . . . talk about crap gone gay! Where am I getting all the things I'm saying? My money is on you, since I've spent four years of my life hanging around you. Partly, this is your fault, but that's okay. Good things also happen, so, I'll forgive you . . . for now._

Received: 3:39 a.m.  
>From: Colonello<p>

_One last thing, before I cut this phone's connections with everyone else. Remember that you kept a promise to me, and don't play dumb, I know you remember it! If not, then I'll refresh your mind. _

_Lal._

_I want you to love her, so much that even married women will get jealous of her. Love her like how I could've loved her if I were given a chance. Don't be such a wimp and leave her, or else, I'll haunt you._

_See you on the other side, buddy (though I'm not saying soon. If ever you kill yourself early and leave Lal alone, then, so help me, I will kick your ghostly ass out of heaven and force it back to your body_)!

Received: 4:00 a.m.  
>From: Unknown Source<p>

**-m16-**

I treaded the almost murky path below me, careful not to step on any marble stone in respect of those who still commemorate on the owner. The sky was never clearer the other days, yet strange, today, it was as blue and peaceful as I would have never thought possible. I returned my eyes back to my direction, and finally found what I was looking for.

Carefully, I crept behind her, and when I was near enough, I covered her eyes with one hand.

"Guess who?" I teased.

"It's not really a difficult question," she answered, putting her hands on mine, and pulling it down. "Really cheesy, Reborn."

She turned around and smiled, and I immediately presented to her the bouquet of long-stemmed roses with a romantic gesture.

The best one I could do.

"Happy birthday, Angel," I greeted, giving her a wink.

"Thanks," she purred, reaching for them. "And, gross."

I chuckled as I wrapped my arms around her, and stared down to where her eyes were casted a while ago.

"Do you miss him?" I asked.

"Of course," she whispered. "He's my father."

"You know who I mean, Lal."

She gave a small giggle as she raised her head to look at me, but only to direct her stare at something behind me. I followed her gaze, and found someone familiar behind me.

"Lucio," Lal mumbled.

"What's he doing here?" I hissed, subtly putting myself forward in case something might happen.

Lucio looked at us both with an expression I couldn't decipher, and then he looked away to walk towards a nearby marble stone, setting beneath it a bouquet of daisies. With a short moment of just staring at the stone, and intermittently running his hand against its smooth surface, he stood up, and began walking away.

"Wait," Lal called out. He turned around, and Lal, without any second thought dragged me near him.

"Lal, wha—"

"I have a question," she started. "How the hell did you meet my mother?"

Lucio looked at her with uncertainty, but, then he sighed.

"Simple," he answered. "I was her boyfriend, long before you were born."

"What?" I hissed again, and she gave me a gentle jab on the ribs.

"That comes with an explanation, right?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Your mother and your father's first wife were best friends. We all used to be . . . the four of us, until they got married. Your mother and I planned to do that as well, but, then she was diagnosed as having a heart disease, and is in dire need of a transplant. That's when Lal, the first wife, volunteered to give hers. When your mother was revived, I came to get her, only to realize that your father had claimed her as his. There, I was left with no choice but to back off."

"Lal was her name? The first wife I mean."

"Yes. Hasn't your father told you that he named you after her?"

Her gaze turned inward, and then back at him again.

"Can I really trust that story?" she asked.

He shrugged, and turned to walk away.

"I can't instill on you what you don't want to trust, Lal Mirch. Believe what you want to believe and I won't care, but, just so you know, I have no reason to lie to you."

Lal looked down, and then, surprisingly, ran towards Lucio.

"Lal!" I called for her. To my surprise, she stopped, and looked at him piercingly.

"Tonight," she started, her lips quavering into a smile. "I will celebrate my 26th birthday. I want you to be there . . ." Tears rolled down her cheeks. " . . . Father."

Lucio's eyes widened as tears began to come out of them.

"Of course," he answered with a small smile. "Why wouldn't I be there on the birthday of my own daughter? Until then . . ."

"Indeed," she muttered as we watched him walk away. Tenderly, I rested a hand on her shoulder, and she wrapped her arms around me.

"That was really remarkable, what you did back then," I commended her. "Though, it makes me wonder. What pushed you to finally accept him after three years?"

She wiped away the tears and handed me a long, white envelope.

It was the letter from her father.

After reading it, I understood what she meant.

"I see," I breathed as I set the letter down, but she stopped me.

"Wait, there's still more behind it," she told me.

I turned it around, read it, and smiled.

Who knew that the bastard I always ran around with and the idiot whom I always depended on for support as much as he depended on me would one day open my eyes to the truth I have once believed?

"_Everyone's hearts knows how to want, doubt, hurt, grieve, need, betray, and, most of all love. My heart experienced all these before I met my time, and thankfully, I survived them all. Thank you for that. I hope that you and Reborn experience the same way._

_Love, and be loved, kora."_

_-Colonello_

**-FIN-**

**Well, there you have it! That was my latest chappy, Colonello's Heart! I know the ending is not as gratifying as anyone would've expected, but my onee-chan, COLONELA, requested for a twist, and so, I gave her a twist she'll never forget!**

**Thanks for subscribing until the end, you guys! I appreciate the support you give me!**

**Oh, and if you have an FB account, and you're a fan of Katekyo Hitman Reborn, please join our group, "Katekyo Hitman Reborn Committee"! You can find me there! I'll be the Lal Mirch roleplayer!**

**As a goodbye, I'll ask my pleasant readers to add to their final review their favorite quote from this fic! I just want to know, and the one who gets reposted as a review the most I will use for my next "FicTure". An example would be my new avatar! Check my profile if you like!**

**Now, here's mine:**

"_**Every heart has its use in life, that's what I believe, and we are born to this world to find where our hearts belong. Be it dedicated for a special someone, or for an even worthier cause." –**_** Lal's Father**

**LoveLots~**


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